As someone who has suffered with a bad back for more years than I want to remember, pain is something you would think I am use to by now. The problem with any pain is it hurts. One look at someone`s face and you ask “are you in pain?” But the face hides so much pain in one expression, how do you know that person is in physical pain? I have now been married for 27 years and even the people that are around me still will say “is you`re back playing up again today?” All I can say is yep and turn away. That in turn has answered the question and nothing more is said. Now although from an outside view the pain is caused by my back, 50% of the time the pain is mental. I have been worn down by weeks of physical pain and a complete lack of sleep. This in turn brings on stress, frustration and then mental pain. In some ways it hurts just as much as physical pain, but you can`t show anyone it or really take anything for it without looking as if you`re having a breakdown.
2010 was a very strange year for me as I lost a very good friend who would help me out whenever I was really suffering with my back, even though she was suffering from spinal cancer. I then gained a friend I had never met before 2010 but we just got on like a house on fire. This caused a bit of a stir at the time in the work place as some people in the office could not see how a man and woman could have such a great friendship without having a relationship. The other thing is that my wife works in the same office and she was fine with it. Some people are just so old fashion. J
Early in 2011 my now best mate had to move on due to finding a new job and could not miss out on the opportunity of increased her pay and working a lot nearer to home. When you have such a close friendship as that it does knock you back when they say they have now got to move on. Again this causes pain, maybe not a physical pain or not really a mental pain but a pain that can hurt. Before you all say, “well we have phones, skype and emails” it is not the same as sitting down and having a good chat over a cup of tea. Call me old fashion in that way. J
So to sum up, when you see someone in pain don`t just jump in and say “what have you hurt” and “give it a week or so and you won`t know you`ve done it” as sometime that not going to help in the slightest and on occasions make it worse. Pain is such a strange emotion and can be caused through so many things, injury, stress, frustration and many other things. Oh and don`t forget love and relationships.
I have had my fair share of pain in so many ways, as I`m sure most of you have.
I am in pain at present but you can`t tell what is causing it! The only person who may be able to tell you what was causing it is/was the closest to you (partner or friend).
ColinH
